A higher sense of humor

I got a new calling. For those of you unfamiliar with my faith, it is the practice for each member in a congregation to hold a position to make sure all functions of the congregation are performed.

There are a few 'dreaded' positions foremost the calling of NURSERY LEADER. A close second would be GOSPEL DOCTRINE TEACHER. I got one of those and it wasn't the nursery leader one.

This is where I know God has a sense of humor, for no mortal man would think it a grand idea for ME to teach adults the deep gospel doctrine of the Old Testament. But apparently God does.

And as it turns out, he must have a sense of humor about how I get these calls. For when I was called as the nursery leader, the person in charge made one slight slip and forgot to ASK me before announcing it over the pulpit as is custom. He knew it instantly as my head jerked up in surprise and maybe a 'little' trepidation. This time as it turns out...I was just given a warning. The Sunday School Counselor in charge of teachers gave me a call and the conversation went something like this.

SS: Since you are one of the new Gospel Doctrine Teachers would you mind teaching on Sunday?
ME: I think you have the wrong number...me no speaky english. Oh yeah, and nobody bothered to tell ME that I was a new Gospel Doctrine teacher.

As it all turns though I think this is just a cosmic plan to get Mike to regularly attend class because you KNOW he'll be there when I teach...or else.

Split Personality

I have two personalities. There is Regular Me and Coupon Me. Regular me is kind (mostly), patient(frequently), easy going (often), and thrifty (occasionally). Then there is coupon me. Coupon me is anxious (always), demanding(often), unforgiving (A LOT) and stressful (Always). When I go to a store coupon me is HAPPY when I A. Make A List and B. Bring my coupons. Coupon Me, gets very irritated and indeed has been known to yell at Regular Me, when I make a 'non-coupon' trip to the store then find a couponed item that is either A. on sale or B. not on sale. If the item is on sale Coupon Me berates Regular Me for not bringing the coupons with so I could get the extra super duper deal that Coupon Me thrives on. If the item is not on sale, Coupon Me berates Regular Me for not bringing coupons so 'at least I wouldn't have to pay full price.'

Coupon Me is extremely happy when A. I go coupon shopping and B. The store actually has the advertised items in stock and C. when I get FREE stuff. In fact, Coupon Me likes option C SOOO much that she has (on occasion) bought something like yucky Cheez-It crackers just because they were free. Regular Me HATES Cheez-It crackers and would never purchase them in her right mind. Regular Me's children also hate Cheez-It crackers. Which brings me to my next point.

Does anyone want some Cheez-It Crackers?

Regular Me would like to kick Coupon Me to the curb except for Coupon Me HAS managed to amass a semblance of food storage including a full year's supply of Italian dressing. Coupon Me has also managed to save SOME money. Regular Me has the quandary of whether or not to resubscribe to the local newspapers (times 4). If Regular Me orders the papers, then 1. Her children will continue to be happy that they all get their very own copy of the Sunday comics, but 2. Will also hand total control of the shopping mojo over to Coupon Me for the next six months.

Please Advise.

Poor Customer Service

Poor customer service as in..that poor girl in customer service as in...me. It's been a tough couple of weeks customer service wise. A few Christmas returns, a few broken items, a few wrongly sent (oops) items...the regular.

I had one customer call me to compare my products to **** that he bought at another establishment that will be known as Wally and Mart. He swore at me, and griped at me and complained at me...and this was BEFORE he ordered. I guess it was all a 'butter-up' act for his call AFTER he ordered. You see he designed a grand meat smoker needed a rack, ordered mine then got mad at ME when the rack didn't fit. He wanted me to pay to have MY racks modified. Um...no. I offered a refund and free return shipping. Apparently the racks weren't that bad afterall.

I had a guy order 10 bowls....yep 10, sent them all back.

I had a girl order a box of muffin baking papers...yep ONE box. Then wanted it overnight, so intentionally ordered it overnight, and then, was upset because we expedited it.

But of all my customers there is one that stands out. He shall be known as my hero for the rest of my days in customer service. He ordered 4 Full Size Cooling Racks. They are large...very large in fact. But like many customers he didn't fully read the description. However, in his returned box written on his copied invoice he wrote,

"I need to return these because I am stupid."

Yep, his invoice now enjoys a spot of honor on my office wall and he also got a free spatula for making my day! Thanks Mark from Massachusetts!

Good news on Brenda...

She blogged. A huge accomplishment considering what she has been through.

Welcome back Brenda...though you still have a long road to go to recovering fully...let it be flooded with steady progress.

Randomness

*I've been thinking a lot this weekend...but none of my thoughts have formed sentences as of yet...so here are some of the low lights.

* You shouldn't play Farkle on Sundays...Bad, Bad Luck.

* I have a really great post written, but I can't share until NEXT Sunday...Stay tuned.

* I had a whole bunch of things I was going to blog about...yesterday. Can't remember a one of them today. I'm blogging about nothing, because it seems if I put it off too much my Blog Mojo dies a horrible death and I never remember it. Hopefully I will soon be inspired.

* I am loving a book right now...I wish everyone could read it so I could discuss it with them. The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything

Unfortunately it is due at the library tomorrow and I'm not done. I guess I should quit blogging and go read eh?

Prayers for Brenda

Anyone that has read my blog for more than once has seen my friend Brenda comment on here. She is a great friend. You know those friends that just 'get' you. You can talk about anything with and even if you disagree on an issue you come away enriched and uplifted. That's Brenda.

Brenda needs your prayers today. She is in the ICU with myocarditis. Basically, if I understand correctly, a virus has attacked her heart and the end result is similar to a heart attack.

Jana, if you know anything else, please let us know.

Love you Brenda...Prayers coming your way.

Awards

Today's awards are as follows:

The Clueless Politician Award goes to Nancy Pelosi, (D) Speaker of the House. If this award was given weekly she would win it nearly every time because she stuffs the ballot box. I have been astounded by the 'huh' things that come out of her mouth on a daily basis. Today's 'huh' moment comes with her comment that the election of Scott Brown (R) in Massachusetts, the bluest of blue states is 'not a referendum on healthcare'. Um...let's all say it now. CLUELESS. If it's not about healthcare itself it is MOST certainly about HOW healthcare reform is being brought about.

The Out of Touch Politician Award goes to Mr. Barack Obama and his white house crew. It's a two part award. First, the whitehouse lackey's that when asked by reporters what went wrong with the election after President Obama himself put his support behind Martha Coakley said, "Well we responded as soon as we could, if we had been asked for help earlier we would have helped." Funny thing was only 10 days ago Scott Brown was down by double digits in the polls. His numbers skyrocketed AFTER President Obama got involved. I'm not saying it's a direct result...but...well the result was as I said before...STUNNING.

Second part of the award goes to President Obama again for his actual speech at a campaign rally for Martha. {Someone get him a teleprompter STAT or he is liable to stick his foot in his mouth AGAIN}




The first 1:30 make my point.

The Best Come Back of a Politician Award goes to Scott Brown (R) Senator Elect from Massachusetts. His response to President Obama.

“Mr. President, unfortunately in this economy, not everybody can buy a truck,” Brown said in a statement. “My goal is to change that by cutting spending, lowering taxes and letting people keep more of their own money.”

And last...the Most Clued In Politician Award goes to Democrat Evan Bayh from Indiana

"If you lose Massachusetts and that's not a wake-up call, there's no hope of waking up." -- Sen. Evan Bayh (D-IN), quoted by ABC News.

For a nice round up of the festivities go here.