Our after school schedule went something like this today:
3:45 Piano--Tim (luckily it's across the street.)
4:00 Dance Recital Dress Rehearsal--Savanna
4:30 Basketball Practice--Tim
5:30 Soccer Practice--Sierra
5:45 Pick Tim up from Basketball Practice
6:00 Scouts--Tim
6:30 Pick Sierra up from Soccer Practice
7:00 Pick Tim up from Scouts
7:45 Savanna done with Dance rehearsal.
Granted we had a 'bit' more overlapping than usual with Savanna's dress rehearsal, but usually her dance class is at 2:00 done at 3:00 and every other week Sierra has Activity Day at 6:30 so it was a trade off. Obviously since I haven't learned to clone myself, I was not in 3 places at the same time and we didn't have dinner. Also Wednesday is our WORST day, but Tuesdays are busy too with our usual piano lessons and YW and Mike's Scouts at night. I feel over scheduled. I hear you saying, 'ya think????' BUT what to give up? Piano is my MUST...I want all my kids to be able to play. Tim's scouts, Emily's Young Women and Sierra's Activity Days are non-negotiable being church related. Emily is 'extra' extra curricular free right now. Tim, Sierra and Savanna have (1) other activity (basketball, soccer, & dance). Wednesday is the 'short' day for the local school district , so I guess everyone figures scheduling that day is best because 'the kids are out of school'. But, it makes for an interesting balancing act. And I've never been a good juggler.
So I ask you...is it
OVER SCHEDULING or DEVELOPING TALENTS?
14 comments:
Just think...you are perfecting your driving abilities as you cart them from place to place.
It's a debate Ken and I have fairly often. While it doesn't seem that the extra curricular activities are excessive per person, it looks like it certainly adds up when you multiply it out by family. Hhm? still thinking . . .
Sharon: I agree. It's not that each child is overscheduled but mom becomes overscheduled and all the hurrying and juggling takes a toll on the flow of the family.
My kids are only doing one thing each (besides Meg's achievement days), and I wonder if I could manage much more. I don't have any answers. But I hear that having a 16 year old driver in the family helps a lot. So, hang in there!
Wow! Yes, mom is over scheduled!
I decided that this summer we are just doing swimming lessons. I got to tell ya, it sounds refreshing!
JUST swimming does sound refreshing, Jana. You are scaring me...Brenda...only 3 years and 3 months left till that 16 year old mark. EEK. Sharon, what are the arguments on either side?
Argument against too many activities (whether that is per child or per family): Mom's crazy shuttle schedule, and as Brenda mentioned, it can take a toll on the family.
Argument for fewer activities: More time together as a family. Our family didn't have many extra activities, and I think we turned out just fine :) I would love my children to have some sort of musical training and exposure to dance, sports, etc, but where do you draw the line? Perhaps these are activities that can be done as a family? Or maybe as during summer when school doesn't interfere? Or maybe done during school (which I realize also brings after-school events)?
I don't have the answer - I don't even have children - and I FIRMLY believe that each family will have a different solution to what works for them.
That's my problem. I can come up with a good reason for doing all the activities. I.E. Savanna, just barely missing the school deadline has only had me and Ethan for entertainment and while I can be very entertainig (yeah right mom)she is a social girl and loves her friends. She hasn't missed one dance practice (2 years running actually) and it is the highlight of her week. Seems like a no-brainer except on dress rehearsal weeks. Then the other side of my brain makes the same statement as Sharon. I didn't do alot of extra curricular stuff and I turned out ok. (well debatable I know) But, on the other hand, I don't remember any of my friends playing soccer, maybe a few took dance, and a couple took piano. But 'other' activities were not so mainstream then. And I was not exactly mainstream....single Dad probably wasn't going to go out of his way to get me into things that he couldn't afford or drive me to. I did take piano and rode the bus to my teachers house. I don't know is it really a different world, or are we just making it that way. See I'm dual minded on this subject. My friend last night made teh comment that she didn't take dance or any these things her kids do..she read. That was me too. But I don't think I'm messing with my kids reading time too much. They are voracious--and they read better books than I read. Ok I know I'm ramblling, not making sense and probably justifying which is a sign in an of its self...maybe I just need a nap. :)
Developing Talents. In the long run we all benifit, even if it does mean hectic days here and there...at least it's only one or two days a week!
I think it is definitely a different world than we grew up in. None of my friends were super involved with extra-curricular activities either.
I am reminded of a General Conference talk (I had to look it up) by Dallin H Oaks - "Good, Better, Best". He makes some good points, http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=f318118dd536c010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=5ce926cb31cf5110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&hideNav=1
It seems that there is somewhat a duplicitous message regarding talents: develop them, acquire them, study hard, learn tons, be the best you can be.
BUT, then there is this notion that we are doing too much, we need to simplify, we need to shove the big rocks into the jar before the little rocks go in (I'm sure you've had THAT lesson a time or two).
Mix in a little competitiveness (BYU entrance application to name just one example), and all of a sudden you have a bunch of overly talented Mormon kids and some very exhausted mothers who've spent their lives getting Johnny up to snuff.
That was a good talk by Elder Oaks...I had to teach it for RS. But I remember some of this anxiety thinking about it at the time. Brenda you really nailed my thoughts that I couldn't express properly. You are right we are supposed to develop, develop, develop those talents and simplify at the same time. And if you don't know what you are interested in or what talents you might have...you have to try a few things to see what floats your boat...all the while simplifying . I'm laughing now.
Now I feel the anxiety . . . how am I going to prepare my children to succeed? How am I going to succeed as a parent? For me, it comes down to: do the best I can, pray about what we need to do as parents, and hope that my best will be good enough. . . . and don't compare yourself or your children to your neighbors :)
from this point of view (as the recipient) i can see it both ways.
some days the overscheduling could be frustrating. most of the time i was arrived late and was picked up late on everything, but i enjoyed basketball and still have agood time in scouts.
Just think Mom...some day when you're old and in retirement you'll watch us cart our own kids everywhere and you'll be able to say "Been there...done that." :)
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